Becoming Your Own Best Friend

I've been sitting here wondering what my blog post would be about. I kept brainstorming ideas, but couldn't settle on one topic. Deep down, I realized, I already knew what the subject matter was. This post is about trusting others while becoming your own best friend. 

I am learning and growing each and every day. Over the past few months, I've been noticing a pattern surrounding trust. I'm a very trusting person, an open book. When it comes down to it though, there's a handful of people that I know I can depend on. I've come to see that some of the people I have placed my trust in, have caused me harm, shown their true colors and not been the person I thought them to be. And that's ok! Every experience, is just that...an experience! I choose to turn the negative into a positive.  

One of my favorite memoirs, is The Woman I Wanted To Be by Diane Von Furstenberg.

A quote that I love from the book, "The most important relationship in your life is the relationship you have with yourself. Because no matter what happens, you will always be with yourself." After, I completed reading this memoir, I felt a sense of empowerment. The essence of this quote, has guided me as I have sought to obtain something positive from my experiences (friends who have betrayed my trust). The message that came through, is that it is important to be your own best friend. 

How to become your own best friend!

It starts with love, compassion and respect. 

1. We are our harshest critic. Generally, we are harder on ourself than on someone else. When we engage in negative self talk, it's as if we are setting ourselves up to fail. 

Practice loving yourself more. One great way to do this, is to do a mirror exercise. Anyone can do this. There is not a limit to the amount of self love one can give. 

Stand in front of a mirror. Get close to it. Look into your eyes. Really stare at yourself. Acknowledge what you love about yourself. 

Say a positive mantra such as, "I love myself exactly as I am in this moment."

You might be tempted to just spew negativity about your appearance, but keep at this exercise. In time, you may become more comfortable with it. You may actually enjoy doing it and start seeing yourself in a more favorable light. 

2. Make a list of qualities you would want in a best friend. 

Example:

• Someone who accepts me as I am 
• A good listener
• Balanced
• Optimistic

Next, see how you can give this to yourself. As you work on your own relationship, it sets the tone for the people you allow into your life and how they treat you. 

3. Embark on a journey of self discovery (This might be an opportunity to journal)! 

Ask yourself who you are? Are there things in your life you want to change? 

What are you core values?

Do you have unfulfilled desires? 

What is holding you back? What are you fearful of?

Remove the self doubt that is holding you back. 

Allow yourself to grow by letting go of what is not serving you. 

4. Trust your intuition 

Listen to that voice within. You have this GPS inside, ready to guide you!

As always, if you have any questions, leave a comment below or feel free to email me at TheZenFashionista@Gmail.Com 

To subscribe to my blog, you can click the subscribe tab at the top of this page, comment, or give it to me personally. I really appreciate it!

Until next time,

XOXOTheZenFashionista

Earn Cash Back On Your Online Purchases

Do you want to earn cash back for making purchases online (and even in some stores)?

Then you've come to the right place. Are you familiar with Ebates? 

One click could earn you anywhere from 1% to 40% cash back. With hardly any effort, I received $200 in the last year. 

Ebates has partnerships with almost 2,000 stores...Including:

Amazon
Macy's
Kohl's
BestBuy
Groupon
Sephora
Target
Buy Buy Baby
Orbitz
Ticket Liquidator


When you are ready to sign up, click the link below. You'll receive a $10 cash reward/gift card once you make a $25 purchase.  

Sign Up for Ebates

Ready to find out how easy it is? Here are step by step directions.

1. Click to Sign Up 
You'll be taken to the home page. In the upper right hand corner, click Join Now.

Once, you've created your account, you're all set to start earning money back. 

2. Search for a store. If they are affiliated with Ebates, you'll see the percentage back you will receive, as well as any current promotions (sales and discount codes) that are going on.

3. Click Shop Now. 

4. You will be taken to your desired shopping website.

5. Shop like you normally would. Ebates will track any purchase you make and credit your account within a few days. 

6. If you close the page, or want to shop on another website, you must return to Ebates.Com in order to get credit for a purchase.

You'll receive a check in the mail or a deposit via Paypal every three months. Make sure to go into your account settings to enter the necessary information. 


I sometimes forget to use Ebates and that's why I was excited to find they offer a Cash Back Button and Toolbar. 

The Button is available for Google Chrome and will remind you that you are eligible to receive cash back if you are on a website they have a partnership with. 

Here is an example. I typed in Target.Com and because I had the button installed, this is what popped up.

If you do not have Google Chrome installed (or prefer this plug in), you can download the Toolbar. What is great about the toolbar is that you can search for stores without having to go to Ebates website directly. 

It looks like this. 

If you make purchases using a phone or tablet, there also is an Ebates app you can download. It works the same way. You'll click on the app, find the store and be redirected. 

Finally, Ebates has just begun to offer cash back in-store. As of now there are a limited amount of stores, but the list is growing. If you click the link, you'll learn how in store credit works. In-Store Cash Back 

I hope you found this helpful. Remember to get your $10 credit, click this link to sign up.
Sign Up and get $10 Reward

As always, if you have any questions, leave a comment below or feel free to email me at TheZenFashionista@Gmail.Com :)

If you would like to subscribe to my blog, I would really appreciate it! You can comment your email below or give it to me personally. If for some reason, you are already subscribed and are not receiving an email in your inbox, check your spam folder.

Until next time,
XOXOTheZenFashionista

How to dye your hair vibrant colors without bleach!

A few weeks ago, I put a purple wash out color in my hair. I had a lot of people asking me what I used, how they could do it, etc. So, I decided to make a blog post to answer those questions. 

FYI: Generally, my beauty products are vegan...this one is not...but I did use it and think a lot of people will want to try this product.

If you're like me and have dark hair, the only way to get a funky color to show up, would be to bleach your hair. After trying numerous products, I finally found one that actually showed up! I used the Garnier Color Styler Intense Wash-out Hair Color in Pink Pop. With darker hair, the pink turns out as a purple. I have thick hair and was able to cover my hair with only one bottle. Doesn't hurt to buy two bottles, just in case. :)

It'll depend on the your hair type, but the color is supposed to last, 2-3 washes. For me, it stayed the nice vibrant color I started out with, for about three days. I used a flat iron and fading was of minimal concern.

When I first tried this product, I did just a couple of highlights. Strand tests are always recommended. If you're curious as to how it will wash out of your hair and how long it will last, try applying it to a single strand of hair. 

After reading some of the reviews (some were unfavorable), I was unsure about trying this product. I'm glad I decided to go ahead and buy the product. I had no issues and it gave me the color I've been wanting, with no bleaching required.  

Some complained that the texture of their hair felt chalky after application...Similar to using hairspray. The Color Styler uses a clay that coats the hair. Instead of penetrating into the strands, the dye stays on top of the hair until you wash it out. 

If you find your hair is dry or do not like the texture, apply some oil. I used argan oil; moroccan or coconut oil will work as well. 
In general, after surveying the reviews, many of the complaints seemed to have come from people with blonde hair / hair that was dyed a lighter color. I can only speak for someone with dark hair.  

The product runs for about $8 and can be found at the drugstore, Ulta, Target, or Amazon. 

Instructions:

As with other hair dyes, I'd recommend wearing an old T-shirt when applying, because the color will stain. Once dry, my pillow and clothing for stain free. 

You will want to do this process on dry hair. 

Put on the gloves that are provided and shake the unopened bottle. 

Squeeze a couple drops of the product and rub together. You do not want to apply too much at a time, or else it might leave a chalky/more dry texture or potentially result in some chunky pieces. If this occurs, once dry, you can brush or comb the chunks out. 

Run the product through the sections of your hair you want to apply the color. If you are like me, and want to apply it to the majority of your hair, do this in small sections. Keep applying until you get the desired look. 

When your hair has dried completely, use a comb. A brush may make the color fade faster. 

If you do apply oil, you may find some of the color comes off. 

I also like to flat iron or curl it a bit after its dry, because it helps the texture of my hair feel smoother.

This process takes approximately an hour. About ten minutes to put the product on, a half hour letting it dry (depending on your hair), and ten to twenty minutes combing and styling.

Color Selection:

The Garnier Color Styler is available in five different colors: Pink Pop, Blue Burst, Purple Mania, Bronze Attitude and Red Temptation. 

Below you can see how the colors will look depending on the shade of your hair. 

Here is how the Pink Pop looked after applying on unwashed, natural curly hair (January 29th). 

In daylight, after I used a flat iron (January 29th). 

Three days later, it started fading. This picture is from February 3rd. 

And this picture is taken a week after the color was applied, on February 5th. I ended up washing it that night. 

After my first wash, the dye almost completely came out. There was still a small amount of color that wasn't hardly noticeable. And by February 8th, it was entirely gone (If I had washed it after two or three days, I believe it would have left some color). 

I decided to see how the Purple Mania would look in my hair and thought it would be fun to also include some Blue Burst. This was done last night, February 21st. 

Before:

After Applying:

Final Result:

I personally like Pink Pop more than Purple Mania. You'll notice the Purple Mania is a more subdued purple on darker hair. I'm loving the blue mermaid look!

What do you think? Which color would you want to try? 

As always, if you have any questions, leave a comment below or feel free to email me at TheZenFashionista@Gmail.Com :)

If you would like to subscribe to my blog, I would really appreciate it! You can comment your email below or give it to me personally. If for some reason, you are already subscribed and are not receiving an email in your inbox, check your spam folder.

Until next time,
XOXOTheZenFashionista