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Monday, August 6, 2018

August Thoughts...

Happy Monday!

It's been a while since I last posted, but I am back! This has been a year of growth, introspection, learning, wonderful experiences, and so much more.

I've been a busy bee studying for the majority of it and am now a certified Transformational Nutrition Coach! In addition, I also have begun working as a social media manager (and am loving it)!

I just got back from a trip to Providence, Rhode Island and at the end of June traveled to NYC for the first time. Stay tuned for a post of my adventures! I also plan to do a 23 things before I am 24 post (I  turned 23 on July 11th) and have some ideas to start an interview series to empower women.

Today's blog is a personal one, which y'all seem to really enjoy.

As, I ended 2017, I wrote a post called, "Your Feelings Are Valid," where I expressed my desire to surrender, honor myself and my body and just be. That is exactly what I did for most of the winter and spring time and it was well worth it.

I spent a lot of time sleeping, reading, going for long walks, sitting by the water and mediating, eating cleaner, and letting all the overwhelm I had felt, fade away. It's amazing how clear one can get, when all the chatter and noise is removed. For the first time in a long time, I could hear my own thoughts and not have it clouded by everyone else's...

Spending time alone brought up emotions. When it was just me, myself and I, I was able to really listen and see what needed love and to heal inside. I'm going to share with you three of the biggest things I worked on.

1. Always Apologizing

A dear friend, looked at me one day in the midst of me apologizing to ask what I was sorry for? I began to notice, I would say sorry all the time, when it wasn't warranted. I wondered why I did that, but for the moment decided to just become aware and notice. I sat in front of the creek near my house, staring down to the bottom of it and began to cry. It became clear to me. Growing up, I wasn't expected to be a perfectionist, but there were still standards. For the most part, I was a straight A student. In other aspects of my life, I was constantly being told, "you just don't do things right." I was never shown the "correct" way or told what I did wrong. It made me feel like I couldn't do things and would always assume it was never good enough. My mantra for this year has been that I AM ENOUGH, which is quite fitting. Once, I became aware of this childhood wounding, I then noticed that in conversations with people, I would get a feeling in my stomach that was indicating the person talking, was going to criticize me. 99% of the time that never happens and truly just noticing these things and logically saying to myself..."And so what? What's the worst that could happen?" the trigger began to heal.

2. People Pleasing

I also worked on my people pleasing pattern. As a child, I wanted to feel loved and so I would do whatever I could to please the people around me. You can be nice and kind hearted, but still respect your own boundaries. It's always been hard for me to say no, because I begin to feel guilty. The more I practice honoring myself, the easier it becomes.

3. Manipulative Love

I am a very sensitive being...Part of that is because I am a Cancer, which is a water sign. I'm that person who sees a movie in the theater and will without a doubt start crying...It can be a comedy, and I bet you, I'll still shed a tear! Lol.
I don't like conflict and will do my best to avoid it. In the past, when people would get upset with me, whether they were right or wrong, I would give in to what they were saying. I didn't want to argue with them, it seemed like a senseless battle. Usually, once I would cave, the person would then show me an abundance of love...This was toxic and I've noticed this has been a pattern with many people in my life. I've decided to step up and show up. I deserve to speak my truth and instead of being shown this emotional manipulative love, I choose to love myself and that's enough. It's truly empowering. At first, it felt scary, but once I started speaking up, I felt more balanced and in control and I won't go back to my old ways.

I also created other habits:



  • I found I felt my best when I had 8-9 hours of sleep per night. 3-4 hours just wasn't cutting it.




  • Listened to Binaural beats/frequencies - I noticed I was getting overwhelmed and that led to anxiety and something that has helped me is to play these sounds to clear the energy from my day.




  • I was big on smoothies and juices, and eating clean, but now I drink at least one protein shake a day. Depending on how my gut is doing, I sometimes will drink two. 




  • I stopped using the microwave. I was aware of all the dangers and not to mention that most of the foods we microwave are processed, but it was so convenient. I made a commitment to stop using one and haven't used it in over seven months! 
Currently, my focus is on physically clearing my surroundings...Getting rid of papers, clothes, etc. That combined with all the emotional and energetic work has me ready to open myself up to what's next. 
The one constant in our life is change and I am continuing to evolve and better myself each and every day. 
I write posts like this as a way to share my journey, but also in hopes that this may resonate with even just one person who reads this. We are all on this planet together, and you are never truly alone...

I'd love to hear from you in the comments. Do you enjoy posts like these? Have a suggestion on what I should write about next? What new habit would you like to form? What is your goal for the next week?



As always, if you have any questions, leave a comment below or feel free to email me at TheZenFashionista@Gmail.Com 


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Until next time,


XOXOTheZenFashionista


35 comments:

  1. I loved your focus on character while you were away especially when it comes t apologizing; it never hurts. And as well, we should actually work on our people pleasing pattern since as we grow, it gets so hard to please everyone.

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  2. So glad your getting more beauty sleep :) Love your honest words! keep doing what you are doing.... you got this! xx

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  3. self reflection is so important to our growth as healthy well rounded individuals. Remembering that the most important person to please is ourselves is crucial. When we are happy with the person we are, we tend to please others without even realizing it

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  4. I too tend to be a people pleaser. I need to try and focus more on myself.

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  5. Welcome back! I have to say, always apologizing is something I am working on this year too. I tend to always say sorry, for like no reason and I need to stop it!

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    1. Yeah, I totally understand. It becomes a habit and it's to the point, we don't even realize we are saying it or why.

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  6. Your post reminds me to do more self-reflection. And it looks like you're doing a lot of self-discovery, which is very inspirational and admirable. Keep doing what you do and I look forward to your interview series to empower women :)

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  7. I used to want to please people so I'd always say yes to things. Then I'd get stressed. So I learned that it's okay to say no.

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  8. I completely agree about not apologizing all the time. I used to say sorry when I had to walk past someone in the store!

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  9. It's too easy to get stuck being a people pleaser. We fool ourselves in thinking that saying yes is easier than explaining why we're saying no. Thanks for sharing such an honest post.

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  10. That's great that you're making these changes and empowering yourself!

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  11. I have also stopped using microwaves few year ago as I find out it is not safe using it. Also I tried to limit my intake of process food. Thanks for sharing your journey and your thoughts. You have implemented few good habits which inspired me too.

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  12. I definitely need to get my sleep!! I don’t function well at all on little sleep! It is great when we discover things that can help our overall health and wellness.

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  13. I agree that it is nice to get away from the clutter and just hear yourself. Also hurrah for NYC! My son really wants to visit.

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  14. I like that you took so much time to do what you like to do.
    I know how we tend to apologize for everything even when we shouldn't. I guess our threshold for apologizing is too low. I have started to stop myself from doing so.

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  15. Congratulations on your certification. I started working with a nutritionist a year ago and it has been life changing. I need to learn more about the microwave dangers though.

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    1. Ah, thank you! Feel free to shoot me an email and I'd be happy to send you to some resources and information about microwave usage.

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  16. I like you researched properly. My problem is just as same as 1st point. I apologize for everything, even for something which is not my fault, but still. I guess I am kinda scared people will start fight or don't know what else.

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  17. I love your blog. It's so colourful... And I have to agree with Aditya. I have the same issue too. But I am bossy. Though I'm humble enough i keep my cool and never take shit. I don't react through words..

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  18. I do love reading your post. Sometimes I too tend to be a people pleaser and sometimes manipulative love, let say I'll do everything for you not to hate but I realized that it was wrong. After I realized that I give importance for myself and let people love and appreciate me for whom am I.

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  19. Thank you for sharing this. Learned that I need to be kind to myself as well especially about giving adequatw sleep.

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  20. so important to self-reflect. I am guilty of not trying this enough!

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  21. Thanks for your post! I am guilty of always apologizing, even when it's not my fault. then I get mad at myself for apologizing since then the other person takes no responsibility for their behavior. I'm trying to break myself of this habit! It's hard work :-)

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    1. Yes! The first step is becoming aware...so you're on your way to creating new, healthier habits. :)

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  22. I used to apologize all the time but it is so unproductive especially when i did not do anything wrong. Same for people pleasing... Need to stop that!

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  23. I definitely need to get my sleep!! Thank you for sharing this. I also need to learn to say 'no' to people.

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  24. It is so important to stick to your gut sometimes,however it is also very important to know when to compromise. Sticking a balance can be so hard!

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  25. I think your changes are going to help me and a lot of others. It sounds like a wonderful and relaxing time for you. I too need to clear my surroundings of clutter. I think I would be a lot more happier and stress free if I got rid of more than half of everything I own. Sleep isn't something that comes easy for me (chronic pain) but I really do want to read more and relax more.

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    1. Thank you very much. I have chronic pain too (Fibromyalgia and RSD). Sending pain free hugs your way!

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  26. Taking care of yourself is the best thing you can do. I'm working on it too. I also try to please everyone and take care of everyone before myself. Once the habit is there it's so hard to stop doing it.

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  27. it is so important to carve out time for yourself and take care of yourself. changes are important at times they help us grow and learn more about ourselves.

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  28. Great job going thru it. And, even greater that yon share your process and truth. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Taking time to go slow when we need to, go fast when we can, knowing and doing what is best in every circumstance will make all the difference. Sending love to you.

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    1. Thank you, Laur. I appreciate your comment. <3

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