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Tuesday, January 7, 2020

2020...I Can See Clearly Now






As we embark on a new decade, I wanted to take a minute to reflect on 2019. I’ve had a great deal of loss. Three very important people in my life passed away. 


My dear friend Diane, who was such a light to this world. She had a huge heart and love for humanity. She believed in me with every fiber of her being and always reminded me of my value to society and the impact  that I came here to make. 





My sweet Karebear who I met on a chronic pain support group, online when I was eleven years old. She and I were there for each other in the middle of the night when we couldn’t sleep, due to pain. We’d send music back and forth and pictures of our dogs. I’ll always keep her in my heart. 

  


And then there’s Kinks/Gramps. I can’t honestly process this one yet and it’s been four months. His death was so sudden and reminds me how blessed we are for the present moment. To stay grounded and to hug those you love and to tell them often. You never know what tomorrow will bring. 

  




I’m so grateful to have had these three individuals in my life. They each helped shape me into the person I am today and I know they’re with me in my heart always, and up above, watching over me.  





There wasn’t just loss and sadness in 2019, but new friendships formed and bonds grew stronger. Shout out to, Brandi who I love so so much. We got super close this year and I can’t wait to see what 2020 has in store for us. 





It also marked a decade of friendship with Ashley. Are we really this old? I’m lucky to have you in my life and you deserve all the happiness in the world. 




I got to travel to LA and Vegas and be a part of the Chinese Oscars and an award show at the Hard Rock.  






                                  







I got to have lunch with my beautiful friend and role model Susan.  






Worked Paleo FX in Austin and one of my best friends, Gina flew in, to do it with me. 






I spent the majority of the year with my Momma Tehrah, and I’m blessed for the laughter and music that she brings to my life. Also the fur babies. That’s pure love and happiness right there. 









I also took a fun birthday trip with my mom, to explore parts of Michigan I had not yet seen. 



 



I decided to get back into the drivers seat in regards to my health and be the best advocate I could be for myself and find the answers I so deserve.  





I spent 2017, working on “being enough.” 2018 was about “finding my voice” and setting boundaries.  This year was all about “truly loving myself.” I learned that I can do anything I set my mind to. Skills I never imagined having in my toolbox, are now accessible.  I also learned that I may not always get closure in the way I think I deserve. That I need to be able to accept it and move on. 












In 2020, I want to continue exploring and learning. 

To accept that sometimes we outgrow people and experiences, but to enjoy the journey that is life. Each event on our path, leads us to the next...



I want to focus on self-care and listen to what my inner child needs. I want to learn how to be there for others and be the nurturer that I am, while still taking care of my well-being.  



I want to stay as present as possible and to be conscious of my words and the power they have. To surround myself with people who bring out the best in me (and vice versa).  To continue to hold myself accountable for my actions, but also to those around me. I deserve to be respected and my value.  



In 2017, I wanted to create a memory jar. I’d like to attempt this again. The idea is to place a note in a jar each day. It could be about a new experience, an accomplishment, a note of gratitude, etc. I may choose to journal this. My intention is to write something, every day.  



I commit to staying true to who I am. I am not here to be like anyone else. I surrender my pain of this year and the past to G-D. I forgive and let go of anything that does not serve me and is not in the highest good. Miracles take shape when we stand back and truly look around us. We are guided by source, if we allow it to come through.  




And so it is!

I am ready for you, 2020! 



Have you reflected on your year? What’s something you accomplished? How did you grow as a person? What are your intentions and resolutions for the new year?

As always, if you have any questions, leave a comment below or feel free to email me at TheZenFashionista@Gmail.Com 


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Until next time,


XOXOTheZenFashionista



10 comments:

  1. It sounds and looks like you've had a great 2019. Here's to a fabulous 2020!

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  2. I'm so sorry for you losses in 2019. It was a hard year for me too for similar reasons. But I am glad to see that there were also good things about 2019 for you. Sending you much hope and love for the new decade!

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  3. I am sorry for your losses but happy for your gains and that you were able to focus on them. Hope your 2020 is the best year yet!

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  4. I"m sorry for your losses over the year 2019; it was a year of loss for me too - my grandfather and my marriage. So I join you in your sadness. However, let's look forward to 2020 and everything this new decade may bring for us both!

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  5. How nice looks like 2019 was a great year. Cheers to even a better 2020 !!

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  6. It sounds like you grew a lot this year! I am with you on the self-care and paying attention to your own needs. It is so hard for me to take a break sometimes. I would love to be more present and mindful of my needs this year too!

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  7. Oh man, I am so sorry for the losses you've had. It sounds like you've been very blessed with some amazing people in your life and for that you are blessed.

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  8. Glad that you have good ,loving and caring friends.Happy New Year 2020!Hope it will be an year full of happiness!

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  9. You have had both ups and downs in2019! Hope you will have an amazing 2020!

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  10. Hope 2020 brings you more happy moments!

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